I really want to graduate and go to seminary

Why are conservative Christians afraid of the Holy Spirit? It's like they don't want to have the most awesome power in the universe residing in them.
I really don't like it when i come across things that deny the power of the Holy Spirit. I was looking for Bible studies on the Holy Spirit and i came across a very hostile website. They were blatantly attacking Pentecostals as if they were heretics or something.
I think the problem is no one fully understands the Spirit so they try to define Him in their own mediocre way, and what happens is everyone's views conflict and we're left with people trying to quench Him by limiting Him, and others who quench Him by trying to make Him move.
Let's come away from this.
Let's actually tap into the power we have as believers.
Let's go to the OT for a minute.

But Moses said to him, Are you jealous for my sake? Would that all the LORD's people were prophets, that the LORD would put his Spirit on them!

Numbers 11:29

Why on earth would Moses want everyone to prophesy and have the Holy Spirit? Answer: so they could prophesy and have the Holy Spirit...
I mean it's quite simple to me really. God wants us to have the Holy Spirit in our lives so He can reside with us and give us the power and strength that He has.
There's a lot of what Matt Chandler calls "textual tennis" going on regarding the Holy Spirit, and it's really starting to get on my nerves. For one thing, the scriptures that conservatives use for their point make little to no sense regarding why there would be no manifestations of the Spirit today.
On the other hand, some charismatics take it way too far. They are in effect, hurting any chance the Spirit has to show Himself because they are trying to make it happen themselves. This just fuels the conservatives fire and gives them some nanny nanny boo boos to throw.
In 1 Corinthians Paul makes it very clear that we should always aspire for the higher things of the Spirit, and i think if everyone took these verses to at least a partial extent this argument would be null and everyone would get along a whole lot better.
And of course might I mention that right after Paul explains that we should seek after gifts, he goes straight into probably the most well known passage of scripture, the "love" chapter. If we spent more time loving each other, as Jesus commanded in John 13:34, maybe the Spirit would manifest Himself in whatever way He chooses, 1 Corinthians 12:7, and no one would argue about anything.
So here's a question for both camps regarding this issue:

Where is your love?

I'm in such a rut right now.
I want to do about 17 billion things and I have to do school crap.
Don't go to college, it will ruin your life. Not really , that's just how frustrated I am.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanksgiving is not far away.
Karen is still my girlfriend. Oh yeah, haven't told you that have I?
Anyway, things probably aren't as bad as I think they are.
Oh well.
Maybe I'll get through Chronicles before the month is over as well. Been workin on that for about a week now.
Genealogies are a major part of the beginning, so it's a little hard to get rolling. I'm on Chapter 7 and it's still genealogies.
Lots of names. Many of which are only seen in Genealogies.
Sigh. I'll get through it and get to the good stuff.
Just a small update on my frustrations.

Man it's been awhile. So i'm sitting in BIO 1430 being a terrible student right now :). We're reviewing Chemistry which i had last semester. Booring. Lame to the max. Pick your own expression.
Lots of junk has been going on in my life. Good junk, bad junk, neutral junk. Everything's junk. But I'll live. Trip coming up this weekend with some of the college group. It's gonna be fun i think. It could also be horrible. But either way I'm gonna have fun :)
Did i mention this class is extremely boring?
I'm gonna go to the NB vs. Canyon football game tonight. A few kids from church are in the two bands at the high schools. It's gonna be on TV which should be interesting at a high school game.
Well I'll go now. I may be back soon. I may not. We'll see...

I'm back

I have been gone for two weeks. Two weeks of preteen camp and youth choir mission trip. I'm tired. :-) This week was pretty incredible. I am absolutely in love with two ladies after spending the week with them. They fed me rather well too which helped. I appreciate them on so many levels now since i hadn't really spent any lengthy amount of time with either of them. But anyway they are both securely in my heart forever and always now.
The kids did well except for they wanted to stay up really late and make noise. What kids ever want to do that?
All in all a good week though.
And i had to drive back. Yuck. But I got over it.
Other stuff is happening too, but I'm not really at liberty to discuss it.
Just know it pains me greatly and prayer will be greatly appreciated.
I feel like I'm being pulled in several directions right now. Not exactly a good way to feel, but it helps me know that i'm nothing without God.
But enough about me. Let's talk about God.
God is awesome.
He always knows what to say.
I love Micah 6:8
"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"

Seriously what do we have to offer to the Lord of everything? Well it says right there justice, kindness and walking humbly.
Justice. Hmm. I could go off on that for about an hour, but i won't.
Anyway just some food for thought.
Goodnight

Sigh

Have you ever been so annoyed you want to scream the reason you're annoyed from the rooftops? That's kind of how i feel right now.

Hmm...

This has been one crazy week.
End of story.

Whoaoh

Oh my goodness. My eye won't quit twitching and it's driving me nuts. I'm already insane...
But anyway, this past week has been interesting. Arguments over things that confuse people, guitar playing, retard best friends, last minute trips to Beaumont, class excursions, excellent worship despite many technical difficulties. It has been fun and exciting and very very tiring. I think I may collapse here very shortly. The new Hillsong United album came out and I am enjoying it thoroughly as I write this.

The other day I was meditating on one of my favorite verses, Joel 2:28-29:

28“And it shall come to pass afterward,
that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh;
your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
your old men shall dream dreams,
and your young men shall see visions.
29 Even on the male and female servants
in those days I will pour out my Spirit.

I was driving to New Braunfels as I often do, and God so clearly spoke to me, "Do you understand what that means?"

The words resonated in my head for the longest time and still are. I don't even fully understand everything he was trying to tell me, but I did have an interesting conversation with one of my friends that goes to DBU. He has been going to a meeting that is dare I say it...Pentecostal, or "Spirit Filled" for lack of a better term. "Spirit Overflowing" is more of what I would call it. At Dallas BAPTIST University. I think what God has been trying to tell me over the past few weeks is that He's been doing the work and moving the gears for a while now. The things my friend was telling me about, no man could have begun or kept going. God has something incredible planned for His church, and I really hope we're all ready for it. It's gonna happen whether we are or not, I just hope people who aren't as receptive as they should be of very old concepts can hang. God is not one to hide His power or refuse to move.
On a further note, God's audible voice is interesting. Not loud. Not thunderous as it sometimes is portrayed. More like a resonance of almost silence. Calming yet extremely piercing. Cuts me right to the core. I can't even compare it to a human voice to give a more concrete idea of it. But it's nice. I like it. Love it even, because I do.

There's a fascinating look into my brain and heart. Two things I think should be linked more than they are. That's why I get loud and stuff. Because my brain and heart are very connected. No comments from the peanut gallery. But that's been a little bit of my past week. I could go into further detail but you would end up bored I'm sure...nah I just don't want to tell you ;-)

incomplete thought number 437,322

The Endless One
Is who makes it all worth while

I need to rethink some priorities. I can't wait for school to be over for the semester so I can have time to do other things. I've skipped some quiet times to do homework lately, and that is not acceptable to me. I love reading the Bible and praying. I've been keeping up with prayer times, but my reading has been lacking the past few weeks.
That frustrates me.
Anyway, there's an update.
Here's another update:
I have to go to freakin Dayton in 2 weeks. Lame. And I'm gonna be bored out of my skull there because my brother and sister are going to the band banquet there and I really don't want to go. Maybe I'll hang around and be a chaperon. Sigh.
Another one:
I'm still right on the edge of crazy.
That is all...

I got a haircut today.
It looks decent.
I also recently came upon one of my senses I hadn't used in a while.
See you can call me crazy but I have a strange Spiritual Gift.
It's a sort of discernment.
It's weird and I can't begin to explain it.
But that's a s;ight update.
God continues to mold me and shape me, giving me direction for my life and things of that nature. The Presbyterian church I lead worship at has decided to give me a salary! I'm happy because that means I can stay out here in San Marcos for the summer.
ΣΟΦΙΑ-we had our first real gig the other night and we did very well if i do say so myself. But that's me who knows.
Anyway, that's an update.

I don't know what to think of this

It sucks being a detective.
I see everything but I can't say anything.
My mind is now full of anxiety and confusion and a general all around not-knowing-what-to-do-ness.
Things should be different than they are, but that wasn't completely my fault now was it?
I long to be a hero, but i'm stuck in the shadows for fear of condemnation and striking anger.
I try to make the facts go away but they don't.
Maybe this detective should recheck his sources and see if maybe he's missing something.
Perhaps his leaning on his own understanding makes it unclear what the real reason for all of this is.
Or maybe he's just a schizophrenic lunatic who no one listens to because they have good reasons.
Or maybe I'm not crazy.
Or maybe you are.
Shut up. Get out of my head.
I can't you moron, I'm you.
Oh. Well in that case please continue.
You are insane because the emotion you are feeling has been described as being insane. You feel as though you shouldn't feel this way when you have every right to feel this way. It's not your fault things have turned out this way. It is your fault if you don't hurry up and act on this and save everyone some trouble they really don't need.
Why don't you do it if you're me? You seem bold enough.
Because I'm scared...

Daylight Savings Time

I hate you daylight savings time. You are dumb. That is all.

I'm in shambles

This one's pretty sick. The lyrics are a progression of thoughts of insecurity, into the reality of God's loving kindness. I know it's a little hard to follow just reading it, but with the music youll understand a little better, And hopefully we'll get into the studio pretty soon and everyone can hear it. Enjoy!

I'm in shambles
I'm in need of a surrender
I can't handle
Any more of this

He clothes the roses
He counts the crows
In His Goodness
He knows, He knows

Where does He lead?
Where do you follow?
In His Goodness
He knows, He knows

Moment by moment
In His hands...